Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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