Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
soo... how was my night?
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