my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
