i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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