dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
