She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize