I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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