I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
nutella sex= disaster
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
