Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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