So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
