we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
