I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
