Cold hands, warm shart.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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