I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
