I don't usually arrange sex via text message
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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