For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Randomize
