If that was your dad, he is hot
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
No subtext here. People are naked.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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