Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
