your room smells of hookers.
And success
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
