I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
