Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
