Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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