ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
