then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
