i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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