I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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