the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
