So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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