I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
So much rum. So many feels.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
