I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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