why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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