He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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