hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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