Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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