either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize