Define "chronic" masturbator.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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