I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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