In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
