just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
