every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
