i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
