I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
