Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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