He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
from now on my penis is your penis
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
