I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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