The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
