I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
