Kiss
Puke
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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