I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
