Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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