can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
