I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
