Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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