apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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