Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
