YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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