I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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