Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
