is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
