My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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